The thing about three year olds...

At the start of Day 3 out of 5 of babysitting fulltime for Mr. B, I have realized the following: The thing about SICK three year olds is - --They lick things - TV controllers, storm door windows, the back of chairs... My hottest financial tip right now is go buy stock in the company that makes Clorox Wipes. --The word "why?" IS their vocabulary. C'mon. Enough. CUZ I SAID SO. -- They ASSUME Joey the Killer Cat is going to be nice today and not bite. Not so, says Joey the Killer Cat. -- They no longer want to take naps, yet fall asleep within 5 seconds of laying down. GETTING them to lay down takes two to three hours, and by that time, it's too late to take a nap. -- They can have the runniest, snottiest nose in the world, but they don't have the science of blowing their nose down pat and no interest in trying. That's why God made sleeves and sofa arms, evidently. -- The phrase "It's too cold to go outside when you're sick" causes little eyes to tear up. Which causes big eyes to tear up and makes old ladies wish they had a magic wand. -- They will look at you like you're crazy when you make a "club" out of couch cushions and blankets -- until you hand them a portable DVD player and the Disney CARS movie. A match made in heaven. -- They will ask 500 times a day "How many minutes until Umpa comes home?". In all fairness to the grandfather, it's apparently not a great idea to put his work number on speed dial and show the 3 year old how to call and ask for himself. I may or may not survive this.