May you never have to post this in your blog...

Today I have to go to the county court building to get a Restraining Order. How sad is that? How sad is it that someone else's stupidity is causing this kind of turmoil in my life. How sad is it that I have to think fearful thoughts? How sad is it that I jump a mile when someone rings my doorbell? I'm furious that this kind of thing has even entered my life. I do not lead the kind of life that requires restraining orders, you know? Good people leading good lives don't have to get Restraining Orders. I've mentioned my soon-to-be-ex-son-in-law before. I actually liked the young man when he first came into my daughter's life, though he wasn't the person I would have chosen for her. He had a horrid family life as a child, and made horrid decisions as a young adult. But you give people a second chance when they seem willing to make a change, don't you? I thought so. I'm not so sure I do anymore, though. Now he's in prison and rightfully so. Two counts of felony child endangerment, among other charges. If you read my blog, you know my world evolves around my 3 yr old grandson. He is the sweetest, funniest, smartest, most loving child on the face of the earth. This is the child that was endangered. This is the child whose very life was at risk twice by the stupidity of his father. Unfortunately, "stupidity" isn't a criminal act, or the guy would have gotten a life sentence. Now I'm getting prison mail... and it's a display of a nonsensical thought process that scares me to death. For some bizarre reason, this "man" thinks he's going to sachet out of prison right back into our lives as if nothing has happened. If he says he's sorry enough, the burn scars on my grandson's legs will magically disappear. He's now apparently thinking he'll be Father of the Year and Husband of the Year and Son-in-Law of the Year with just a little more practice and, of course, our forgiveness. I nearly throw up just thinking about it. I want to grab my grandson and run. I don't normally let his mail get to me (or even read them.) But the last few are purely "passive aggressive". Offering ME the opportunity to "stab or even shoot" him. Oh... my... God... How does that thought process even occur to any normal person??? He also states he's coming to my house "even if you don't want me to" when he's released from prison -- sometime in the next few months. So today I head to court for a restraining order. Today I call the alarm system people and have our house alarm system upgraded. My daughter already has a restraining order in place, but it doesn't cover my house. Today my husband stated he has a billy club in his closet and we should place it by the front door. Today my daughter suggested I buy a tazer at the flea market. Today my world has officially changed, and I hate it.