Grandma got run over by a flying saucer

We have a SMALL hill (more of a dip than a hill) in our back yard -- you can see it in the photo here. In flat southwestern Ohio, this little dip was THE sliding spot in our neighborhood when my kids were small, despite the fact the ride on the sled took all of 3 seconds -- as opposed to the 90 second "hills" I grew up with in New Hampshire. With more forethought than I normally exhibit, I purchased a "flying saucer" at a yard sale last summer. Yesterday was THE BIG DAY for introducing Brayden to sliding (as we called it in New Hampshire -- "sledding" to others). Jeff was home for the day, so we dragged him outside with us in the 15 degree weather. He had to shovel 8 inches of frozen ice-encrusted snow away from the front of the shed door so we could get the flying saucer -- which turned out to be in the garage. Flying saucer, piece of rope, everyone looking like the Pillsbury Doughboy in a riot of winter clothing and colors... off to the "hill" we go. At first a little leary of sitting on the funny red circle of a flying saucer, I finally convince Brayden that he's going to "fly like the wind" and to sit down. I give him a push. Ka chunk ka chunk push! ka chunk ka chunk push! Hmmm... slower than I expected, which meant Brayden was thinking this was NOT going to be as much fun as I'd explained to him. I'm still determined. so I convince a very reluctant Jeff to go down next, so HE can show Brayden how much fun it is! Jeff gets on -- legs and feet waving out in front of him (flying saucers were not made for 6 foot tall big guys) -- I give him a BIG push - ka chunk, ka chunk, PUSH! ka chunk ka chunk.... sigh. We practically had to PULL him down the entire hill. Brayden's thinking his grandparents made this whole "fly like the wind" thing up. He's losing interest. He's having more fun flinging snow at Joey the Killer Cat. Next, Brayden wants ME to get in the flying saucer so he can pull me down the hill -- which he now assumes is how this whole sliding thing goes. I figure I've watched Brayden go down the hill at zero miles per hour, Jeff go down the hill at zero miles per hour - what's the harm in letting the poor kid pull me down the hill? I plop my big ol' lady butt down on the flying saucer and before you can say "Holy crap I'm going 90 mph" I'm flying down the hill, hat flying off in the air, hair whipping out behind me.... headed for the WOODS! Brayden is practically peeing his pants laughing, Jeff is standing at the top of the hill with his mouth hanging open -- and I'm trying to stop myself from being beheaded by tree limbs. After I recover and pull the snow out of my glasses, my ears and my hair, Brayden now thinks this is the coolest thing EVER! "Do it again, Umma!" I try to convince him that HE should try another ride because he might go fast this time (now that I've got the trail blazed) -- but Nooooo! "I want to watch YOU do it!" So now Brayden thinks the fun part of sliding is watching Grandma go arse over tea kettle into the woods. When Mary came to pick Brayden up last evening, she asked him if he had a good day. He said, "Yes! We went outside and Umma went SO fast she was flying like the wind!" Mary looked at me and shook her head, and I just gulped down three more Motrin and smiled back at her. Luckily, no one was around with a movie camera. But picture this: OK, it only FELT that fast. Believe what you want -- just pass me the Motrin and my Grandma of the Year Award.