Feb 3, 2009

May you never have to post this in your blog...

Today I have to go to the county court building to get a Restraining Order. How sad is that? How sad is it that someone else's stupidity is causing this kind of turmoil in my life. How sad is it that I have to think fearful thoughts? How sad is it that I jump a mile when someone rings my doorbell? I'm furious that this kind of thing has even entered my life. I do not lead the kind of life that requires restraining orders, you know? Good people leading good lives don't have to get Restraining Orders. I've mentioned my soon-to-be-ex-son-in-law before. I actually liked the young man when he first came into my daughter's life, though he wasn't the person I would have chosen for her. He had a horrid family life as a child, and made horrid decisions as a young adult. But you give people a second chance when they seem willing to make a change, don't you? I thought so. I'm not so sure I do anymore, though. Now he's in prison and rightfully so. Two counts of felony child endangerment, among other charges. If you read my blog, you know my world evolves around my 3 yr old grandson. He is the sweetest, funniest, smartest, most loving child on the face of the earth. This is the child that was endangered. This is the child whose very life was at risk twice by the stupidity of his father. Unfortunately, "stupidity" isn't a criminal act, or the guy would have gotten a life sentence. Now I'm getting prison mail... and it's a display of a nonsensical thought process that scares me to death. For some bizarre reason, this "man" thinks he's going to sachet out of prison right back into our lives as if nothing has happened. If he says he's sorry enough, the burn scars on my grandson's legs will magically disappear. He's now apparently thinking he'll be Father of the Year and Husband of the Year and Son-in-Law of the Year with just a little more practice and, of course, our forgiveness. I nearly throw up just thinking about it. I want to grab my grandson and run. I don't normally let his mail get to me (or even read them.) But the last few are purely "passive aggressive". Offering ME the opportunity to "stab or even shoot" him. Oh... my... God... How does that thought process even occur to any normal person??? He also states he's coming to my house "even if you don't want me to" when he's released from prison -- sometime in the next few months. So today I head to court for a restraining order. Today I call the alarm system people and have our house alarm system upgraded. My daughter already has a restraining order in place, but it doesn't cover my house. Today my husband stated he has a billy club in his closet and we should place it by the front door. Today my daughter suggested I buy a tazer at the flea market. Today my world has officially changed, and I hate it.

15 comments:

Lucy said...

Oh man! Why is there always that one person in a family. I call them 'the outlaws'. I have an ex-SIL who broke into my 99 year old father's home in November and tried to take him. So I've been through the whole restraining order thing, also. I'm thinking of going up to Idaho about April for the summer to help keep the dark side away from him. I have the X-SIL and also an X-BIL that won't leave him alone either. They've both been barred from his house at his request. Geez! My heart's out to ya'.

Karen said...

Oh my God, Joan....my heart just breaks for your situation. There's no way anyone should have to live with that kind of fear. I'm going to pray for you and your family (and I don't pray often....only on special occassions.) I wish there was some way I could wrap you all up in cotton balls....but I'll settle for a virtual hug.

Jeff said...

Go get a gun! The Clinton ban on assault rifles is up, just imagine how scared he'll be when you answer the door holding an AK-47!

Tipper said...

Oh my-what a mess. And I'm so sorry your family has to be in it. Makes you wonder why life has to be so hard sometimes. I may sound mean but I kinda agree with Jeff-you must protect your family at all costs. I'm wishing you Godspeed with the restraining order.

Anonymous said...

You don't even need an assault gun. A 38, a 22, will get the point out and are easier to hold. One step in the door and you have the defense to shoot him on the spot.

Or you could write him a letter...

Would-be Housewife said...

Oh my gosh. I am so sorry that you're having to go through this. I've been reading your blog and you sound like such a nice person. *hugs*

-HazelHoney from SB

Would-be Housewife said...

Well it ate my last comment for some reason. Anyway, I was saying that I am so sorry for you and your family having to go through this. I am just glad your grandson is safe now. *Hugs*

HazelHoney from SB

Would-be Housewife said...

Well it ate my last comment for some reason. Anyway, I was saying that I am so sorry for you and your family having to go through this. I am just glad your grandson is safe now. *Hugs*

HazelHoney from SB

Would-be Housewife said...

Well it ate my last comment for some reason. Anyway, I was saying that I am so sorry for you and your family having to go through this. I am just glad your grandson is safe now. *Hugs*

HazelHoney from SB

Presents Rock said...

uhh.... put "RTS" in all letters and mail it back.
i don't know.. got pepper spray while you're at it.

Lisa said...

I agree that it would be great to send those letters back unopened. That way he can't entertain the idea that you are actually reading and internalizing his garbage. Hope you don't have any difficulty getting the restraining order, and I'm glad you are doing it. (hugs) -Lisa

diane said...

How sad and you sound such a happy person. I hope you and your daughter and gorgeous grandson will all be safe.

The Calico Quilter said...

I am so very sorry that your family is having to deal with this crazy man. Definitely don't read the letters, just send them back. Refuse to play along with his sick games. I don't know what the gun ownership laws are in your state, but I would also vote for a .38 cal. or a 9mm "persuader". And a concealed-carry class. Will there be a release hearing? Can you testify?

Jeff said...

Ok, the gun comment was a joke. Here in the great state of Colorado you can shoot someone uninvited on your doorstep, but you'd get in trouble in Ohio.

Hippies.

Get some law-enforcement grade pepper spray. By the time he knows what hit him he'll be back on the bus to prison.

The Calico Quilter said...

I understand that your situation may not allow the presence of a handgun in the house, but unlike, Jeff, I wasn't joking in my comment. If anyone was threatening my family in any way, I would be in a concealed carry class in a heartbeat. Husband and I already do target shooting for a hobby, carrying a handgun wouldn't bother me in the least in that situation. I guess I'm less evolved than most. Sorry, hope you weren't offended.