Feb 3, 2009

Update

I feel like I've just come back from the Twilight Zone... and without a Restraining Order. Apparently, you can't get a Restraining Order (called a Protective Order here) until something actually happens to you. That's the bad news. The good news? The restraining order my daughter has covers me for the days Brayden is here with me. I do need to take a copy of it to my local police department and explain to them what's going on. The better news? The magistrate gave me a few things I can do BEFORE he gets out of prison... send a copy of the letters to his probation officer so he/she can make staying away from me and my house a condition of his probation, send a letter to the prison board that reviews early releases, so he won't be released early, and... take a copy of the letters to my local police department and possibly file criminal charges for harassment (the magistrate wasn't sure about that one, as she had not read the letters herself). Yes, everyone who commented is absolutely right -- I should have sent the letters back RTS (Return to Sender) and that's exactly what I did for a long time. Then one letter came that had "this concerns Brayden's health so please read" and I did... (and it didn't) and since then I've been opening them. No more. They'll go straight back. I think I'll even take a pen with me out to the mailbox to write RTS right then and there and not even bring the envelope into the house. The gun suggestions... well, no. That's not going to happen. For one thing, I have a three year old in the house part time. Secondly, I couldn't live with myself if any type of gun accident happened. I'm not the most level-headed person in emergencies or overly-stressful situations. No, that's not an option. So... I move on. I dislike the fact I lost an entire day to this guy, but I do feel better to have the information I now have. Thanks to everyone who commented for your support and understanding. We now return you to your regular programming....

6 comments:

Karen said...

I'm sure it's a relief that Mary's restraining order covers Brayden while he's at your house. And I'm glad they gave you all that advice. Sounds like they're trying to look out for you within the contstraints of the law. Keep on truckin' Joan.....you're doing the right things and remember that "good" is on your side!

Dixie's Whimsey said...

Joan... after reading both of your posts.. first I just want to say that I am sorry that your family is going through this. It's horrifying and you know that you are in our prayers. Second... your ex-son-in-law is in serious need of some professional help. From what little you've said - his actions fall into at least the "serious depression" or "manic" category, if not sociopath. Therapy and medication can help both of those conditions, along with anything else he may be suffering. I don't know what your family would have to do to get some social agency to help him, but it sounds like he needs help... not your help... professional help.. Good luck. take care. sending good karma in your direction... hope you got it! Dixie

diane said...

Sounds like you have been given some good advice especially sending copies of the letters to the probation officer. Just as well you did open some so that you can use them against him.

Lucy said...

I sent a letter back RTS and I've wished many times since that I had not done that. I should have kept the letter for evidence. So there's both sides to that.

Joan said...

Hmmm... I think you're right, Lucy... Now if I can just learn not to get so upset when they come in. But evidence.. yes, I like that!

Tina said...

Joan - The suggestion of working to stop any early release is a good idea too. My DD's in-laws fight a battle every ten years to keep a man in prison when his parol hearing comes up. Not sure if you ever heard of the Ruppurt guy who murdered his wife, his 5-6 children, and I think his parents on an Easter Sunday in the seventies, here in Cinti. That wife was my DD's inlaws sister and her kids. Those inlaws left that house minutes before he arrived...two shotguns in hand and just shot everyone. He has been in prison for over 20 years now, but his parol hearing comes up every 10 years and the family has to go through petitions, speaking to parol board, and reliving the whole ordeal, but it keeps him in. This is a bit different, but petitioning and trying to stop early parol, does sometimes work. I wish you and your family good things to come, and the strength to get through it.