Mar 3, 2009

It must be over 'cuz I'm singing!!!

Wooooo Hooooooo! Darling Daughter's divorce is F-I-N-A-L with NO visitation! YIPPY SKIPPY and thank you court system for understanding that it is in my grandson's best interest to NOT be subjected to his father's stupidity. If you had told me five years ago I would be happy to see my daughter divorced, I would not have believed you. I'm not a big believer in divorces and often think they are too easy to obtain and tend to make marriage just one more disposable item in our society. But THIS divorce keeps my grandson safe. And I am ALL about keeping Mr. B safe. I was scared to death the judge was going to order county-supervised visits, where my daughter would have to take Mr. B to a county facility one hour a month and let him be fawned over by his father. This is what they normally do in situations where a parent cannot be trusted to keep the child safe while the child is in that parent's care. But daughter's lawyer was good, and the judge listened, and apparently two counts of child endangerment are (more than) enough to keep this guy away from Mr. B. Mr. B is safe. Mr. B is young enough to forget what's happened to him (according to his pediatrician). Mr. B will grow up with excellent male role models in his grandfather and his uncle. Men who know how to treat women and children with respect, who know how to go out and work for a living, who understand why laws are NOT meant to be broken, and who understand that there are consequences to actions. My daughter and I talked about how to deal with Mr. B's questions about his "daddy". Her idea is to explain that some kids have mommy's and daddy's, some kids have only a mommy, and some kids have only a daddy, but Mr. B is lucky in that he has one person who wants to be both his mommy and his daddy. She's such a good mom. Mr. B has been asking about his father, because he sees other kids at daycare get picked up by their fathers. A neighbor told him that his father was "on vacation" but since Mr. B remembers the high-speed police chase and the car crash, I didn't like him thinking that ex-SIL (yes! EX-son-in-law!) was being rewarded for his actions, so I explained to him that his dad was NOT on vacation, but was on a "big people time out" because his job was to keep Mr. B safe, and he wasn't able to do that. Mr. B definitely understood "time out". I'm sure it won't be all smooth sailing from here. EXSIL (Oh yeah, that's going to be his blog name) will be getting out of prison in April, and we may have to deal with him again, despite court orders otherwise -- that's the kind of guy he is, afterall. But it's not time to worry about that yet. It's time to celebrate the court's decision and know we don't have to face traumatic face-to-face meetings in a cold county-ordered facility. And it's time to celebrate that this man cannot put my grandson's life at risk yet again. And it's time to celebrate that my daughter will no longer be verbally and emotionally abused. Heck, it's just plain time to celebrate!

9 comments:

Karen said...

What a wonderful birthday gift for Mr. B! He may not realize it, but it will be his best birthday ever! Here's hoping EXSIL has gotten a modicum of sense.....am I asking too much?....and stays away from the family as the court order has decreed. Either that or he'll do something stupid and land right back in jail!

Tipper said...

Oh I'm so happy it worked out this way for you guys!! I know it takes a lot of worry off of you all.

Presents Rock said...

haha.. you excitement online just gives me butterflies. (:

Lucy said...

That's wonderful! It's always great when you win one over the 'bad' people in life. I have a situation in my family where the husband killed his wife and he's still free as a bee. That particular jurisdiction in California doesn't seem to feel like there's evidence that points to him. It just goes on and on. So congrats on having a closure of sort to it. Now lets hope he never comes around.

Dixie said...

Joan... I hope all goes well with Mr.B and your family. you'll be in our prayers... blessings. Dixie

The Calico Quilter said...

Buh-bye, EXSIL! What good news! I'm heartened to hear that there is a family court judge in the country with some sense. I witnessed a co-worker's agony when he and his wife tried to adopt their foster child. Biological mom was in prison for selling drugs, biological father (not married to mother) was 60 years old (!) and rejected custody of the child but wouldn't relinquish parental rights. This went on for three years! Finally a judge got some sense and severed all parental rights and gave that child to the people who had raised him since he was 4 days old. For three years, Bob had to live with the thought CFS could waltz in and take the boy away forever, without notice. How could you parent a child in that situation? Thank God it worked out for them, and for your daughter too. Hooray!

Carol said...

Congratulations Joan. That has got to be a huge stress buster. Best wishes to your daughter and grandson.

poketypatch said...

I am glad that everything turned out for the best. Thanks for the email re the penny pocket - i sent mine out last week. Thanks for hosting.

Karen said...

Hey, I nominated you for a blog award. Check it out.