What Would June Cleaver Do?

So you sat down at the computer at 8:00 AM right after your husband left for work this morning, and thought you'd read a few blogs, write a bit on your own - you know - catch up. You sip your coffee, get up and make a sandwich, knowing full well in just a minute you'll get up from the computer and get going on your housework and things you need to get done that day. You casually look up at the clock and GASP! it's 4:45! Your husband is due home from work in 15 minutes! He's going to see the messy house, the unmade bed, the piles on the counter, the dirty laundry and ohmygawd, he's going to know -- he's going to know you did nothing all day - he's going to think you're addicted to the computer -- he's going to think you're (gasp!) a terrible housewife! Oh, he might not say it -- but you know he's going to think it. You can practically hear the gavel of the Divorce Court judge banging on the desk! What would June Cleaver do? Nothing -- June Cleaver had a full time housekeeper. But that's OK - Relaaaxxxxx... piece 'o cake. I'm here to rescue you. Here's the blogging housewife's fast method of doing housework. 1. Calmly let go of your mouse -- flex your fingers a few times to get feeling back in them. 2. R-U-N (not walk - RUN) up the stairs to your master bedroom. Throw all bed pillows on the floor, yank up the sheets, yank up the blanket, yank up the quilt, smooth them all down, put the pillows back on. 3. Grab a laundry basket, run to the hamper (you're not walking are you?!), pull out one small load of clothes (enough so the hamper shuts). Put the basket by the door. 4. Go to your master bathroom, grab the wet washcloth, wipe down the sink surround. Then lift the toilet seat and give that a wipe. We're talking fast here - one swish - it gets what it gets. 5. Bringing the washcloth with you (ewwwwww - did you think I was going to leave it in the bathroom to be used again?), return to the laundry basket, bring it to the laundry. Put last week's half-wet wash in the dryer with two dryer sheets (maybe that musty smell will go away), turn on the dryer. Put the new load your brought downstairs in the washer and turn it on. Water temp, load size, detergent -- none of that matters -- you just want the washer and dryer going when your husband walks in the door. 5a. If you're real lucky today (and you could use some today!), there will be a load of dry clothes in the dryer that should have been folded three days ago. Grab an armload of the dry cloths and place them on the family room (or whatever room he watches TV in) couch. When the laundry basket is empty from step 5, put these clothes in the laundry basket -- and return it to the couch. 6. Go to your kitchen. Fill up your sink with about 2 inches of hot water. Dump in some lysol or equally strong smelling cleaner. Grab your kitchen dishrag and wipe down open spots on the counter and stove top. 7. Dirty dishes fast into the dishwasher if you can. Doesn't matter if there's clean dishes in there, they won't shrink if you wash them again. If you can't fit it all in, go for storage under the sink. Men never look under the sink. 8. Run into the family room, plump the cushions, grab whatever is obviously out of place and put it somewhere... cabinets are good, drawers are good, a broom closet works in a pinch. Put the remote control next to "his chair". 9. Back to the kitchen. Grab cans of food, a bag of flour, eggs and some kind of meat out of the refrigerator. Put it on the counter where you normally prepare food. It doesn't matter if that's what you're going to make for dinner -- it will look like you've got dinner thought out and ready to start cooking. 10. If you've yet to hear the car pull into the driveway, put on a pot of coffee. Put two store bought Chocolate Chip cookies on a plate and nuke them for 10 seconds as soon as you hear that car. Place them next to the coffee -- with a paper napkin. Still time left? 11. Grab a hairbrush and brush. So what have we accomplished in under 15 minutes?

• The house smells like you've been cleaning all day long (Lysol in the kitchen sink).
• The house smells like you've been baking (microwaved cookies).
• Your bathroom is sparkling clean (he doesn't see pee on the seat, and his coffee cup marks are gone from the sink).
• You have obviously done at least three loads of laundry -- one on the couch to fold, one in the dryer, one in the washer.
• The bed is made. If you don't normally do this, your husband is REALLY going to think you cleaned all day. If you do normally do it, he'll think all is right with the world.
• You are neat, clean and completely unfrazzled. You are neat and clean.

And if you're lucky, you still have time to come back to your computer and blog an article like this one!

Quilting, sewing, making lists

I finished another quilt top last night. Wow -- is that actually TWO in one week? That may be a record for me -- or simply the fact that I suddenly realized Christmas is a little more than two weeks away! The one I completed last night is a nap-cuddle up on the couch quilt for Brayden. Cutting and sewing the quilt only took me about six hours -- but choosing the colors -- lordy, that took me two days! Almost 3 yr old Brayden is all about propellers lately, so I'm going to quilt the spinning wheels with propeller shapes (it makes sense in my head -- not so much in words!) The Pine Tree Quilt should be completed tonight. Just have to hand sew on the binding, and I'll do that while I watch TV tonight. (The last episode of The Amazing Race is on the DVR waiting for me!) I finished the socks I wanted to get done, and those all get mailed out this week. No photos -- family reads the blog. Really all I have left to do for homemade gifts are two quick wallets to "gussy up" gift cards. Maybe three. Oh, and an Mp3 player case. Or two of those. Shoot -- I need to quit thinking. The more I think, the more gifts to make I come up with... This is a busy busy week for me, with the exception of today. Today I will spend at least an hour cleaning my quilt room. It's gotten messy from the sewing that's gone on lately, and once it gets messy, I don't want to go in it. So clean it I shall! (Can you hear that determination in my voice?) (No, I didn't think so.) The rest of the afternoon will be spent sewing. Tomorrow is hopefully my last day of shopping. I really only have stocking stuffers left, plus gifts for my daughter but if she doesn't give me some ideas soon, she's going to get a lump of coal a gift card. Wednesday and Friday, of course, I'm babysitting for Brayden. We'll be making those white felt Christmas ornaments I showed in a previous post (scroll down). Brayden will sit on a stool beside me at the sewing machine for hours IF he can help me with pushing the buttons on the sewing machine. I have a Janome 6600P computerized machine, so there are a LOT of buttons he can push for me! With this craft I will let him select the decorative stitches we use, and we should be able to knock out a whole bunch of these sweet ornaments! My husband will be on vacation Wednesday, Thursday and Friday this week, so he'll be around to help with Brayden. Ha! Who am I kidding? Brayden would rather spend time glued to "Umpa" than with any other person in this world. I will hardly even see them! Hear them? Yes. See them? Not so much. I won't be able to sew unless Jeff takes Brayden out somewhere... which I will suggest. Jeff's birthday is this Sunday, and his birthday dinner choice is lasagna and garlic bread. Much of Saturday will be spent cooking, since Lasagna is always better the second day. I make a GREAT lasagna, taught to me by an elderly Italian lady more than 25 years ago. I'll write it down as I make it and post it here next week. Worth coming back for! On Sunday after the birthday dinner and opening presents, I hope we (Jeff, myself, daughter Mary and grandson Brayden) will pile into the car and head to a local park that has a wonderful drive-through, old-fashioned Christmas light display, and then get Brayden's photo taken with Santa. Hopefully, he won't scream like he did last year. Hopefully.

Quick Christmas crafts for your sewing machine

I wish I could say I come up with great creative ideas on my own -- but I don't. I read a web site called Dollar Store Crafts and am constantly amazed at how creative people think of the things they do. Me? I'm a follower in world of craft ideas. Give me a pattern or written instructions, and I'm good to go. But don't ask me to think of them on my own! I have several blogs I go to on a regular basis just because they are THAT KIND of creative crafter -- they do the thinking and let me do the copying. Today was one of those slap-my-forehead and why-didn't-I-think-of-that days, when I saw this Christmas tree ornament (or gift tag if your sewing machine can embroider names!) on a website called Craftlog: Alright, how easy is that? In fact, I'm going to do this project with my grandson, and take advantage of his love for my sewing machine. Or how about these little Scrappy Tree ornaments (or, again, gift tags) from the afore-mentioned Dollar Store Crafts web site: I think a little jingle bell sewn to the bottom of the tree would add another degree of "cuteness" to this project! A big thank you to all you creative bloggers out there who take the time to make tutorials to go with your wonderful creations! You make the rest of us look so darn creative too!

Changes for 2009

I can hear you groaning. We're not even through the holiday season, and here I am writing about 2009 already? Yup, that's me. Procrastinating about what needs to be done today so I can think about what I want to do tomorrow! If I put words on paper (or in this case, type on my blog) it helps me define my personal goals. I've been thinking a lot about what I want the next year to bring (as in, what this year didn't bring but it could have or should have if I was more goal-oriented). I'm going to re-do my house. That's my goal for 2009. We've been here 20 years as of the 15th of this month. With few exceptions, the furniture is pretty much the same, the lay-out is pretty much the same, the "feel" of the house is pretty much the same. It's time to move on, make changes, shake things up. I've made a list (of course) of what I want to change. Before any of these changes can take place, however, I'm going to start selling things -- Craigslist, Ebay, local newspaper ads, and the mother of all yard sales in mid-May. Mad decluttering. Mad selling of furniture. I find the best way to convince my husband that we need new furniture is to get rid of the old. No kidding. Before we moved to Ohio from New Hampshire, I called GoodWill and had them pick up almost all our furniture. "Oh look, honey - no bed. Guess we need to buy a new one." It worked then, it will work again. Just watch. Then it's on to buying new furniture. I have been clipping ideas from magazines, copying ideas from the Internet. Writing down names of furniture companies whose designs I like. To the left is an example of what I want for our guest room. I love the feel of this room -- cozy, slightly sophisticated, tranquil. I love the bedding (oh yes, I need all new bedding), the lamps, the color on the walls. And I'm going to sew quilts in 2009. Full sized quilts for the guest room and master bedroom. Seasonal wall hangings for the entry way and family room. Placemats and tablerunners for the kitchen. Mantle scarves for the fireplace. Pillows for beds and sofas and chairs. Valances for the kitchen windows. And more -- lots more. I'm going to hire painters to paint every room. I did this three years ago and it was probably the best money I ever spent. It took them two days to do ceiling, trim and walls in all the downstairs rooms and the hallways. Monetarily, it seems at first like an extravagance but honestly, if you knew how much time it saved, how much bickering it saved, you'd understand that it's worth it. I'm going to hire a carpenter to come in and create built-in bookshelves and a fireplace surround. We currently have a monster of a red brick fireplace, which is actually nice, but far too big for the size of the room. I want it enclosed with a beautiful mantle and bookshelves and cupboards on each side. I want to have my kitchen cabinets resurfaced. This is a compromise. I'd actually really love to have my entire kitchen gutted and redesigned. It's a very large room with huge windows, but because of the way it's set up, there is almost no counter space and a serious lack of storage. I'll have to wait and see which direction I can take this, once I get a price on resurfacing vs new cabinets. I have (relatively) new appliances, so that at least will keep the cost a bit lower, whichever way I go with the kitchen. A local furniture store has a "day with a designer" offering. I may do that as well. While I know what I want, I'd also like to have a professional opinion on furniture placement, window coverings, floor coverings, etc. I'm probably only going to do this one more time in my lifetime, so I want it to be exactly right. I don't want regrets later. And -- I want to do this without going into debt. No credit cards. Possibly monthly payments on furniture if it's zero interest for 12 or 24 months. But no debt to do this. That's a lot of selling! But that's OK -- we have a lot of crap stuff we can get rid of. I'll be frugal as much as I can, but without sacrificing my goal. I may reupholster our family room couch and chair myself -- I've done this before with beautiful results -- or have them reupholstered, rather than buy brand new. So that's my plan for 2009. If my family is reading this, they're in shock because I believe they think I don't care if I don't have beautiful furniture or pretty accessories. They're wrong. I've just never talked about it because there was always something else that needed our money or our attention or our time. But now the time is right. I fully expect it will take the entire year to reach my goal. But reach my goal I shall. I'm headed to my sewing room right now. The Christmas wrapping can wait until tomorrow.

Quick Craft - but so cute!

Cruising the web (again) and found a great blog called "Insightful Nana". First, I fell in love with the name, then I fell in love with the web site! And then I fell in love with this great inexpensive craft for a Christmas gift idea. Perfect for stocking stuffers, teacher gifts, or just to give a friend a little something... These little magnets are made from mason jar caps, black spray paint, and glued on magnets. The adorable center graphic? A FREE printable offered on Insightful Nana's blog! You can find them here. I'm sure Brayden could help me with these, but I think I'm going to have a little craft night to myself, and make some of these up to include in cookie baskets for the neighbors.

Christmas Crafts for Toddlers

'Tis the season - for Toddler Crafts! Christmas was always my favorite time of year to do crafts with my kids. So I'm looking forward to doing some crafts with almost-3-year-old grandson Brayden. There are so many ideas on the Internet -- and so many ways to display his "art work" -- hanging it on the Christmas tree, garlands on the mantle, hanging on the front door, or even outside in the trees for the birds. I've been looking around the 'net for good Toddler activities, and found several I plan on trying with Brayden. My favorite, hanging Christmas ornaments for Birds, is from "Kids Craft Weekly" -- a free newsletter I get in email every week. You can subscribe here. You can also purchase a copy of her ebook Christmas Crafts for $5.00 (PayPal). If her newsletter is any indication of what's in this Christmas Craft book, I'd say it's a good buy! OR you can sign up for a Giveaway of 10 copies of this book at The Crafty Crow. Christmas Ornament for the Birds General directions (it's copyrighted, so you'll have to subscribe to the newsletter to get more specific directions or photos!) From slightly thawed frozen pie crust dough (rolled out flat), use Christmas cookie cutters to cut out shapes. Poke a hole in the top for adding ribbon later. Brush cut-outs with beaten egg yolk, and then press bird seeds and nuts onto the shape. Bake at 375 for about 10 minutes or until lightly brown. Cool completely, add ribbon, and hang outside to decorate the trees for the birds! I'm thinking we could also do cookie dough cut-out Christmas trees with M&Ms for decorations and a ribbon to hang on our tree. Easy Gift for Friends and Family I also want to help Brayden make Christmas gifts for family and friends. He needs to know the joy of giving before the "gimme gimmies" set in in a few years. Read a good article titled "Helping Toddlers Learn about Sharing at Christmas time" here. His gift to others will be a desk calender made from his art work. I saw this idea on a crafty mother's blog, but I simply can't find it again to give credit where credit is due. But here's what I'm planning for Brayden's gift to others. We're combining his fingerpainting artwork, an acrylic frame, a calender and sticky notes to make the desk calender. We're using smaller two-photo acrylic frames (that stand up and bend in the middle) for the base, putting Brayden's art work inside the frame, then attaching sticky mini-calenders on one side, and sticky notes on the other. Brayden's fingerpainting is done and dry, and I'll cut out and put the "art work" in the frames, then have Brayden help me stick on the calender and notes. An option would be to put both the calendar and the sticky-notes on one side, and Brayden's photo on the other... we'll see! This is a very low-cost Christmas present! As you can see by the sticker, I found the frames for .59 cents at a dollar store, the mini-calendars were $2.00 for 10 and the sticky-notes have come from my desk! Christmas Card I'm going to keep this one simple. Brayden is not yet old enough to cut with scissors with any accuracy, however, he can brandish a glue stick with the best of 'em! I will cut out white circles of different sizes from construction paper, as well as snowman hats and carrot noses. I purchased a package of small googley eyes. Hopefully some time before Christmas Brayden and I can get outside and make our first snowman so he knows what a snowman is! Then we will make simple construction paper Christmas cards, letting him glue on the pre-cut shapes and eyes to make a snow man for the cover. As I'm writing this I'm thinking I might introduce him to the fine art of using a paper punch, and have him punch out circles from different colored construction paper, and I'll cut out a Christmas tree. He can glue on the tiny circles to decorate the tree on the front of the card! Sewing Activity I've mentioned before that Brayden and I sew on my sewing machine frequently. He's very good at it (he's a pro! He's been on my lap at the sewing machine since he was 6 months old!) and is excellent at keeping his hand away from the needle at all times. I thought I would cut out some mitten shapes from fabric or muslin scraps, and Brayden could help me sew them together, leaving a small gap which we can stuff with -- jingle bells, Christmas-y spices or catnip (for a gift for Joey the Killer Cat). We could add a ribbon to hang, and possibly use the glue stick again to put some glitter on the front (not for the catnip one, obviously). Holiday Sewing Cards - from FamilyPlayandLearn.com Cut the fronts off greeting cards. Punch holes around the edges of the cards and tie a shoestring to one of the holes. Let toddlers use the cards to learn to 'sew' Reindeer Paper bag Puppet - from FamilyPlayandLearn.com You'll need a brown paper lunch bag, construction paper, glue, red pom poms, felt markers, and googly eyes. Leave the bag closed. Put your hand inside to make a puppet. Now, put your puppet on a table and take your brown construction paper. Trace your hand and cut out the shape to make antlers. Glue the antlers to the top of the puppet. Glue a red pom pom for a nose and googly eyes onto your puppet. With markers, draw a mouth and any other reindeer stuff you want on your puppet! Glitter Bells - from PreschoolEducation.com Need: Cereal Box,Glue, Glitter, Ribbon or Yarn, Misc. Craft Items - such as fabric scraps, beads, etc. Directions: Cut bell shapes out of light weight cardboard. Put the glitter in a plastic sandwich bag. Paint the bell shape with glue, put it in the bag with the glitter and shake until it is coated. Make as many as you want. Let the bells dry. Poke a hole in the top and tie bells together, letting each one hang down about 5-6 inches. You can also decorate with misc. craft items. Glittery Pinecones - from AssociatedContent.com These enchanting ornaments will add an outdoorsy touch to your Christmas decor. And your toddler will be so proud to have his own ornaments hanging from the Christmas tree. Materials: Pinecones of any size Glue Red, green, silver, and gold glitter Coordinating ribbon or string Directions: Either collect pinecones outside or purchase them at a craft store. Let your toddler> drizzle pinecone with glue; then sprinkle with or roll in glitter. Tie a ribbon or string to top of pinecone. Jingle Jingle Jingle! A favorite of my kids when they were ages 6 months to about 4 years -- just tie a few jingle bells on a string, attach the string to each of your child's shoelaces. And watch them dance and jump and stomp and jingle! Other Christmas craft ideas Snowman ornament Brown paper bag Gingerbread men Printables Find the Difference in the two pictures of Christmas items Simple Christmas Tree to Color Simple Snowman to Color Basic Christmas Shapes - Angels, Bells, Snowflakes, Christmas Tree and more. Bookmark this one for your own craft ideas!