Life is Good

Picture to the left is Brayden Lee tasting grape tomatoes for the first time. We saw them in a magazine we were looking at together, so I got them out of the fridge so he could taste them. Notice his buddy, Joey, next to him on the stool.

In times of stress or even just life getting a little bizarre (because, after all, the latest car incident hasn't been all that stressful for ME), it's always a good idea to count your blessings. So here's what I'm grateful for today:

--My house is clean (enough).

--My laundry is done.

--I talked to my daughter and grandson first thing this morning. All is well with them.

--I sat down and had breakfast with my husband this morning.

• It's not snowing out.
• Spring will get here.
• I am feeling very good physically.
• I have spent a lot of time quilting lately.
• I have a valid excuse (no car) for not going to a luncheon today.
• I finished reading Jane Austen's Emma last night.
• It's almost time for race season to start back up!
• I saw a beautiful sunrise this morning.
• After being quiet over the holidays, my Yahoo group has livened back up again
• I found bed raisers on Amazon, where I have some money left from a gift certificate! These will be used to raise my cutting table in my quilt room.
• My grandson is spending the day with me tomorrow. I have a present for him. I took a picture of Joey (the killer cat) on the "quilt" Brayden made for him (see my other blog ) and have framed it for his room. I know he will love it! Picture to the right shows Joey on his "quilt".
• I woke up this morning 5 minutes before the alarm went off.
• My not having a car right now is a blessing in disguise -- I save money by not shopping, not running to the grocery store during the week, not buying gas. It's all good.
• I'm back in touch with my friend, Karen, from New Hampshire. She's been a friend for more than 20 years and I'm so delighted to hear from her again!
• I'm back in touch with my sister, Sarah. She actually hand writes and mails letters. It's such a joy these days to get a hand written letter!
• I love my life.

It's just the way I'm feeling today -- it's all good.

An update on the car situation

Last night Jeff and I sat down and talked about what we wanted to do to get through the current car situation (as in, Mary has Jeff's car, he's driving mine, I'm without, and Mary needs financial help to get a new used car). We actually talked for quite awhile, and decided the following: 1. Mary needs to become financially independent. She makes decent money but has a terrible sense of financial responsibility. (Something, I will admit, her parents absolutely never taught her or her brother.) Our main goal should be NOT to rescue her, but to put her in a situation where she can learn from all this and become financially responsible for herself and her son. 2. With that goal in mind, we are NOT currently buying Mary a car. It will happen. But first, we are asking that she go to a local credit and budget counselling service and work with them to come up with a debt payment plan to get all her old bills taken care of. The goal is first to get the creditors off her back, and second to work with a professional in setting and understanding a budget, and, of course, to get her credit score up. Mary is not, relatively speaking, in that much debt -- about $3000 and most of that is from poor medical insurance coverage when Brayden required an ambulance and hospitalization last January. So, she is to set up a payment plan and a plan to get her credit cleaned up. Jeff would like this done by the end of next week. 3. Once she tells us what her financial plan is, we can use the amount the credit counsellor has set for her to pay off her debts as a gage for how much of a car payment she can afford in the future. They will take into account her rent, food, utilities, childcare, etc., and set an amount for debt repayment. Once that debt is paid off, obviously, that money can go toward something else. In this case, it will be a car and insurance payment. 4. Only once all this is in place and we're confident she is willing to work with it, will we decide how much we are willing to spend on a used car for her. The deciding factor will be her budget plan - how quick she can get her bills paid off and her credit score up. I explained all this to Mary last night on the phone, and she was VERY receptive to it all. She knows she doesn't understand budgeting, and she knows it will be a huge relief to get the creditor phone calls stopped. She sounds very willing to work with the credit agency and sees that this is a great solution to what could have turned into a major life problem. Yay! So I'm feeling good. I understand why some parents would not help their adult child buy a car. I do, I really do. But I do think we have a good plan in place with the goal of Mary becoming financially independent, and she understands this will be the last rescue of it's kind. Everyone needs help now and then. I know we did when we were first married (Jeff's parents often lent us money and helped us with our downpayment of our first house!). It's not a sin to need help. And it's no sin to offer help when help is needed. Both my kids are number one in my life, and always will be. It is what it is.

YMELORD

YMELORD - A license place Jeff and I saw the other day and fell in love with. Perfect for our daughter. A truly good, smart, intelligent, caring person who is a magnet for bad luck. She's one of those people you just wish you had a Magic Wand to wave over her and make her life as good as she deserves. We got the estimate to fix the Montero... not good news. $3500 minimum. We just can't put that kind of money into a car that has an engine with questionable life left in it. So, we need to help Mary find new transportation. She currently has Jeff's car, but he really wants his car back (and I want to have MY car back since he takes my car to work every day and leaves me with no transportation). That's all well and good for a temporary solution, but we need to move on. Mary wants a good car. I know it. I can't blame her. However, her credit is awful from really bad choices a few years ago, and it's coming back to bite her in the butt now. (For all you parents out there who don't see your child suffering the consequences of their actions, just wait it out. Everything does come back to them sooner or later.) We don't see her financially able to make a big car payment, so Jeff's not willing to co-sign for a car loan for her... So what do we do? She has to have a car to get to work, and she has to have a car that runs well and is safe transportation and reasonably good on gas. We're her parents. I'm sure there are parents out there who say, "Deal with it yourself" but we aren't that kind of parent. Good? Bad? Who knows... but we are who we are. So it looks like we're going to buy Mary a used car. She will make car payments directly to us. It will not be anything fancy, and probably not even pretty! But it will be a car. It will be safe transportation to and from work. It will be as cheap as we can possibly get away with, which doesn't seem to be very cheap these days. I'm hoping we can do this for $3500 or less. Meanwhile, we're asking Mary to spend the next two to three years repairing her credit problems so that when this used car goes (and we know it will!), she will be able to get a car loan at a reasonable interest rate on her own. That seems a very fair thing to ask, to me. I'm not sure how Mary will feel about it (Hey! I hear you parents out there saying, "Oh well!"), but it is what it is. We'll help you this one last time, but you have to put yourself in a situation where you don't need help after this. Yeah, that's fair. As I re-read that, I know it's fair. We'll do our part to help, but YOU have to show us you are willing to help yourself from here on out. Lordy, who knew being parents of an adult child was going to be so tough??

The Food Budget price comparison results

Thanks so much friends, family and blog acquaintances! It's interesting to see the difference in prices in our grocery shopping. Colorado -- you definitely win for highest prices. Here are the results: 1 qt milk OH 1.79 TN 2.49 CO 1.49 NH 1.29 1# bananas OH .46 TN .49 CO .50 NH .49 1 soup OH 1.79 TN 1.39 CO 1.79 NH 1.49 1 dz eggs OH 1.89 TN 1.59 CO 2.04 NH 1.89 1# gr beef OH 2.29 TN 2.69 CO 2.99 NH 2.19 1# chick brsts OH 3.99 TN 3.99 CO 5.99 NH 2.59 1 can vegetable OH .69 TN 1.09 CO .89 NH .78 1 can tuna OH .79 TN .73 CO 1.79 NH 1.25 1 qt mayo OH 4.59 TN 3.15 CO 2.59 NH 3.59 1 bx cereal OH 2.49 TN 3.49 CO 3.35 NH 3.00 Alum foil OH 2.89 TN 3.29 CO 2.49 NH 3.49 When we moved down here (Ohio, from New Hampshire), I was stunned by how much higher meat prices were here (a hop skip and jump from the mid-west's "cattle country"!) than in New Hampshire. I see that hasn't changed. Considering how far they have to ship the meat, why is it less expensive in New Hampshire than in Colorado, where you can practically hear the cows moo'ing?!? That makes no sense to me. Colorado - wow, Lisa. I can see why your grocery bill is higher than mine! Everyone mentioned "store brand" prices, which were dramatically less than name brand. I believe all the prices above are name brand prices. It may not be accurate, but it is definitely interesting! Thanks everyone!

I need to get out of the house!

I've been without a car for two weeks now, ever since my daughter was in a car accident. The police dept finally issued the accident report on her accident, and lo and behold, surprise surprise, the guy that hit her had no license and no insurance. Why does that not surprise me?? I am curious, however, as to why the Butler County Sheriff that took the accident report didn't haul the guy off to jail -- driving without a license and without insurance? Last time I checked, that was against the law. Jeff will pay to get the Montero fixed for Mary, though to me it seems like throwing good money after bad, since it had engine problems with a questionable amount of life left to it. I personally would prefer to find her a good used car and put that same money toward it, but it's not my checkbook paying out, so it's not really my decision. Hopefully, I will have a car back by the middle of next week. (Mary is driving Jeff's Ford Focus and Jeff is driving my new car.) So all this means, of course, that I do my errands on the weekends. Today I will go grocery shopping and pick up some books I have on hold at the library, plus go to the bank to get some cash for the week (though why I need cash when I can't go anywhere is up for question!). I will finally get a chance to do my price comparisons that I've asked others to do for my blog! I've had three responses so far! New Hampshire, Colorado, Tennessee -- and we will add my Ohio to it and I'll post them all tomorrow. I did find one great way to cut back dramatically on my grocery bill. Jeff went grocery shopping twice in the past 10 days! LOL! Since he paid for what he bought, it didn't come out of my monthly budget! Poof! An extra $100 for me this month! We do have a great system worked out for budgeting our money. I am fortunate that I don't have to work, but obviously I do need money to spend. So, we came up with a great system so I'm not spending all his money, but he doesn't have to question where every penny of "our" money is going. We have two checking accounts - his and hers. Although each of us has checks for both accounts, neither of us uses the other's checks without asking first. My checking account covers groceries, doctor visits, vet visits, gifts (not including Christmas), clothing and house decor. Jeff's covers mortgage, utilities, car repairs and house repairs, taxes and any other "major" bills that come along. On the first of each month, an automatic deposit is made into my checking account, and that's my money for the month. It's the same amount, and it's generous without being over the top. I have plenty of money for groceries, I can afford to buy a bit of fabric now and then (though I'm trying not to), I can afford to go out to lunch or to the movies with friends during the week, and I can buy an item or two of clothing when I want to. So it's a really good system that takes the pressure off both of us. We used to have one account and neither of us seemed to know at any moment what we could spend, because we didn't know what the other person had spent that same day. This works beautifully for us and really eliminated any heated money discussions between us. I stick to spending no more than my monthly allotment, and there's no problem. If we have something major we want to do (for example, we upgraded our kitchen and added a new patio area, fence and hot tub last year), we sit down and figure out how we can pay for it or save up for it, or whatever makes the most sense financially. So, I'm trying to cut back on my grocery budget for the selfish reason that it gives me more money to spend during the month! I also pay one-half of Mary's daycare expense each month. I can't imagine how most single mothers can afford daycare, and I can't even begin to fathom how parents with more than one child afford it! Here in our area, most daycare facilities charge between $180 and $250 per week per child! Mary was very fortunate to find a wonderful lady who does day care in her home for $30 per day. I have Brayden two days a week, so she pays $90 per week for the other three days, and of that, I pay half. I'm hoping at some point she won't need me to do this, but I do understand that for now, she needs the help, and I'm fine with that. I would much rather have him in a good, clean, loving environment than put him in a cheaper, welfare subsidized daycare situation. If it means I help pay for it, then I'll help pay for it, just so we all have peace of mind about how he's being taken care of during the day. So today, I'm going grocery shopping. I have made my menu for the week: Sat. - Lentil soup (freezer), cornbread (homemade) Sun - Out to eat Mon - Roast chicken, brown rice, brussel sprouts Tue - Soup, grilled cheese* Wed - Chicken stir fry (left over chicken, left over brown rice, veggies in fridge) Thur - Hamburgers on 100 cal english muffins, Salad Fri - Frozen pizza (Jeff bought 2), salad* * These are days I babysit for Brayden and need something "quick" and easy to fix when he leaves at 5:30. I will make chicken soup this week and use leftover chicken for sandwiches for Jeff for work. On Sunday (tomorrow) we're planning on going to Waynesville, OH for the afternoon. We enjoy walking around and going to all the antique shops there, and, of course, the world's best fabric store is there! So the more money I save on groceries today, the more I'll have to spend at Fabric Shack tomorrow! (OK, so maybe I'm not trying REAL hard not to buy fabric!)